|
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask: "How long can I keep it? Do I
have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my
bankruptcy?"
2, If you get one of those pushy people who wonīt shut up, just listen to their sales
pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that youīll need to go get your credit
card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long
that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
3. If they start out with: "How are you today?" say: "Why do you want to
know?" Or you can say: "Iīm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care
these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore,
my dog just died..." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on
with telling about your problems.
4. If the person says heīs Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then
ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal
questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
5.This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and Iīm
with Dodger & Peck Services... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause)
"Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise: "Julie!! Is this
realy you? I canīt believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give
Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you
from.
7. Say,"No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keeep an
even tempo even as theyīre trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going
until they hang up.
8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in
as sinister a voice as you can muster: "I donīt have any friends...would you be my
friend?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the
form of an occasional "Uh-huh", "Really" or, "Thatīs
facinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all
flustered, but just tell them you couldnīt give your credit card number to someone whoīs
a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer:
"This is Bill from Widget & Associates."
You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: Great, they have a group there too?
Howīs business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to
employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you
will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask
them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the
most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says: "Well, I
donīt really want to get a call at home," say: "Ya! Now you know how I
feel." (smiling, of course...)
12. My friendīs personal favorite way to make telemarketer go away involves the help of
his 3 year old son.
When they call and ask to speak with Mr. Stevens, he explain they want the "other Mr.
Stevens". As he hand the phone to his son, he tell him to explain all the fun things
he did that day, from the detailde slimey booger he picked and where he wiped it, to his
favorite and most proud stories about "pooping in the toilett". He is so proud
of the shapes he can make. Usually after a few minutes of running around on the cordless
phone explaining how proud he was with the details of his day, he comes back and says:
"They hung up." Imagine the rudeness of some people... |
|
